WWWD:
What Would Wilhelmina Do?
Hello Possums,
This is the first of (we hope) many instalments, where I Wilhelmina (pic up) will answer ALL your questions. All and everything no question too strange or extreme, and yes we guarantee anonymity. We are not interested in exposing and outing anyone we want simply put to help you muddle your way through life with a little help from us.
My credentials! I have studies psychology and sociology, also I have on hand plethora of experts who will confirm my answers and we never ever interfere in people’s lives because after all it is about free-will. I have been a performer, and advisor, a consultant for many years so I come to the table with years of experience (no I do not make the mistake of thinking that existence is experience).
We at My Kali Magazine take our civic duties seriously. We do answer the difficult questions and yes we do use the occasional expletive, because sometimes swearing does express exactly what one wants to say…*
Perplexed
Q:
Hello, I wish you all good, I really need help. My name is Taher* 16 years old. My problem is that I had 2-X boyfriends and now I’m single because I can’t find what I’m looking for. Most of the guys I meet want (sex) and I’m looking for a serious relationship, a one that does not consist on sex (not saying that sex isn’t important, it is, it’s part of the relationship) but not always, it’s just a plus, and what I want him to be is a good guy who can understand me. So what do you think I should do? Should I high-up my standards? Am I looking in all the wrong places? What do you think my problem is? I would also like to tell you how happy I am with your magazine, there is finally something that talks and discusses us
Perplexed
A: Dear Perplexed
You are 16 years old and already have had two X’s you TRAMP! (Just kidding). Let me just start off by saying WTF (What The Falafel). You are young you are NOT going to settle for a serious relationship just yet, that would be insane!
You need to play the field, sample the pickings and choose the best for you. I know you think you want something permanent, but in this town that just doesn’t happen.
Yes you should raise your standards, of course you should. But be careful not to have too high an opinion of yourself and thus lose Prince Charming’s attention because you were self-obsessed.
A few rules to remember:
Yes they want sex.
They say they want a serious relationship, translated they want sex.
They will cheat.
They will lie.
Sometimes what you want and what you get are two separate things ( I want Brad pitt but Angelina beat me to him)
Main thing to remember is that if you are looking for something you never find it. So relax, chill and enjoy the ride, you will find many a man will be interested in you and you can pick and choose, remember quality over quantity.
And be careful, play safe.
Stuck
Q:
My.Kali, I need your advice so bad! I’m in a no future relationship, “6 years”, let’s just say we are looking for different things now, and he’s not letting me go and I have no idea how to break up with any one and he’s insisting to remain best friends but in this way I can’t date or even look around so hellllllllllp me plz
Stuck
A: Dear Stuck
6 years is more than a life time in our community, actually it is like forever. Time to cut the chord sweetness, dump him and move on.
I am not telling you to be mean, but seriously, if there is no spark, no love, nothing what is the point?
What are you a safety net? NO YOU ARE NOT!
Best FRIENDS? BEST FRIENDS? Who are you kidding? Not going to happen, if he still has feelings for you he will sabotage any future relationship by being an anchor around your neck and you would be drowning fast.
Really, move on. And do not give him an opportunity to weasel his way into your life again. A clean cut is the best thing (which is undoubtedly going to be hard as you both have mutual friends I am sure). Sure it’s going to be hard but such is life!
Questioning
Q:
Hey, I’m sending this for a reason and not as a threat. I’m not like that! But give me a good reason to give gays rights?
Questioning
A: Hey You!
Good questions this one. Here’s the answer:
IT’S CALLED HUMAN RIGHTS!
Read about it! No man or woman should be discriminated against under any circumstances for reasons of Race, creed, gender or sexual preferences.
It is called humanity, and it is only in backwards 3rd world countries which do not acknowledge that because of various political reasons.
Membership into the European Union (the most civilised of all unions) this is a basic requirement, the fact that PEOPLE can live together and not be afraid of persecution and being attacked simply for being different. They can sustain loving relationships and lead a safe existence, and what anyone gets up to in the privacy of their own home is their business and nobody else.
Add to that the reasoning that ALL citizens are equal and you cannot attack someone because of sexual preference.
The rights are there to protect the citizen no more and no less. So religious bigotry and backward stupidity is unacceptable as all citizens are equal and NO ONE can say otherwise.
I leave you with the words of Dorothy Parker: Heterosexuality is not natural. It’s just common.
Curious
Q:
I’m so thrilled you guys are doing this! It’s amazing and really makes me proud as a Jordanian living in Lebanon to come home and see things progressing way a lot than I expected. I’m 25 years old, a working girl, and STRAIGHT. The other day, my friend (let’s call her N) came to visit me from China; we were best friends in high school and remained good friends during the years. She has a very jealous boyfriend, who hates me BTW. We decided to mess with his head, and that for N to tell him that she thinks she’s a lesbian and that she’s in love with me. He freaked out for a week, but laughed it off later! After the joke was over, I started having feelings for her, all of a sudden I realized that I’m starting to believe the lie we mashed up! Does that mean I’m a lesbian? Why am I questioning myself? And that late (considering I’m 25 and not 16)? I know that female sexuality is different from the male ones, but, can straight women question themselves when it comes to sexuality? And what do you think I should do with my friend? She’s in my face every day, cause she’s visiting, (staying the whole summer) which makes it awkward for me to deal with my feelings.
Thanks! Keep up the great work.
Curious
A: Dear Curious,
Female sexuality is fluid, it is a strange thing women are supposedly more in touch with themselves and their urges than men.
That said there is no cut-off age for curiosity or exploration that is after all the very essence of being a human. You are curious; this does not make you a Lesbian or anything else, after all labels are for things and people. And no one can tell you what or who you are.
You might have a fluid sexuality, and enjoy both sexes equally maybe one more than the other.
There is no need for you to force yourself into a decision, after all being “Gay” or a “Lesbian” is a lifestyle choice and why should you choose just because people around you might want to feel a little bit more comfortable if you were in their neat little boxes.
If you value your friendship. DO NOT SAY A WORD! Keep quiet and say nothing.
Now that you know you have these feelings for another woman maybe it is time to experiment (not with her) you just might be in love with the idea of being in love.
I know you will ignore my advice but you should be aware of the fall-out resulting in the rejection of your advances (although women are more tolerant, but…).
And an aside, how dare you mess with someone’s head? You shouldn’t be playing mind games, it could have seriously back-fired and you could have been physically hurt…