Shoot from the Hip:

Sh*t, he’s on TV!

(Picture: In TV show Brothers & Sisters, Chad Barry, a closeted gay soap 
opera actor who finds it difficult trying to develop a relationship with 
Kevin Walker while keeping his sexuality secret from the Hollywood press. 
See what happened when they bumped a while after their breakup here)

By Rami J.

It’s 1:35 AM and I’m a bit tipsy from the Long Island Ice Tea drink I had. Lately, I’ve been feeling that I’m ready to let go of my ex-boyfriend, I even feel like this could be the last time that I write anything related to him in this column. I feel like there is nothing left to do or to say to him or to anyone regarding what happened between us. I believe I have made it very clear to him how devastated I felt when he dumped me or when he hooked up with one of my friends after we broke up. Did I ever mention that he is considered a local celebrity? And allow me to say that being uncomfortable with your sexuality and being a celebrity is not the best combination, Imagine being the boyfriend to that!

As if dating a closeted guy is not enough of a problem, dating a “celebrity” is a total different story. Let me start from the beginning, the day when your boyfriend breaks the news to you that he got an opportunity to be in the public eye in a domain that he was never even interested in and you of course are expected to act like the supportive open-minded guy that will stand by his side although deep down inside you know that this would cause more heartaches and problems for you, as if the problems you’re already dealing with as a couple aren’t enough.

I remember reading it somewhere that people who are good looking make more money than people who aren’t, stupid hah? But Sad! When it comes to my ex, I believe he is above average when it comes to looks, people flirt with him all the time, from both guys and girls, even before he became a celebrity. Now, the flirting has tripled and again I would have to be open minded one about it and act like it’s no big deal.

Going out is not the same anymore, as you are always interrupted by someone who wants to take a picture with him, and guess what, you’re the one who takes the picture! Usually, when you become in the public eye, you’d be center of attention, talks and discussions! Now, most of the subjects if not all are about him, it becomes he, him and him only!

One of the downruns of dating a “celebrity” is that all of your frustrations stays inside! Nothing you do seems to compare to the extraordinary things he is doing and the attention he is getting. And if you used to criticize him before, now you can’t as anything negative you say is washed off  by the hundreds comments and flattery he’s getting from people who are saying the complete opposite, and you start to question your judgment. You see him on a magazine cover, and while reading an interview with him you discover how reality is much different from the story that is written in the magazine! Yet again you can’t say anything because then you’d be considered “the bad guy that is jealous from his boyfriend’s success”!

Some people live in the shadows of their partners even if their partners weren’t famous, but it requires a lot of strength and to be a bit selfless when your partner is a celebrity, even worse a closeted gay celebrity! Because if he used to deny the fact that you’re together, now he’d deny it a 100 times more and would even do other stuff that proves the opposite infront of people, and it hurts every time. In my case I admit not being able to handle the situation; it was too much for me even after the break up; you see, he’d pop up on TV when I’m sitting with my friends in a café or during a date with a rebound guy, and I’m sorry, but it’s not the best thing in the world to see friend requests from fans that has pictures of him as a profile picture, and even worse when at times it’s a picture of him where I am cropped. I learnt that I am a bit more selfish than I thought and as much as I loved him as much as I am relieved that I’m out of that situation. So if you ever think that dating a celebrity is a dream come true think twice, it’s not as fabulous as it sounds. Be prepared to live in the dark shadows of his closet baby!

in’s: Stay tuned for future entries from My.Kali‘s new column ‘Shoot from the hip’

Read previous entry of Rami for ‘Shoot from the hip’: The Polo T-shirt!